The Power of Two

(Read: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

9 Two people are better than one, because they can reap more benefit from their labor.

10 For if they fall, one will help his companion up, but pity the person who falls down and has no one to help him up.

11 Furthermore, if two lie down together, they can keep each other warm, but how can one person keep warm by himself?

12 Although an assailant may overpower one person, two can withstand him. Moreover, a three-stranded cord is not quickly broken.

 

     Today, I would like to share how powerful having both of the parents (the husband and the wife) living and working together for the good of family's home and its welfare. Not because this is ideal, but because we are design to it from the very beginning. I, indeed, salute all the single parents who are bringing their children with decency and decently. As the Bible has told us from the creation of the world, which also included the creation of first human being. God knows that a man needs a companion then as he said Genesis 2:18 "... It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a companion for him who corresponds to him." Every man, therefore, have their destined woman of their own because God created them from man's bone. Genesis 2:21-22, "So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep and while he was asleep, he took part of the man's side and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the part he had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man."

 

A. Doubled the benefits.

     In the book of Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, it shows the importance of having two people than one. In verse 9 says "Two people are better than one, because they can reap more benefit from their labor." Although it doesn't mention that two people have to work together, it still suggest the benefits of doing things with someone else. We reap MORE benefits from our labor. Couples, who are sharing responsibilities in taking care of the family and its needs together, will accomplish more. Your joint effort will benefit the family as a whole. What an answered prayer if the wife received a hand from her husband in doing some of the household chores like when he sets up the dining table while she cooks a delicious lunch, he maps the floor after she sweeps it, he takes the toddlers to bath while she prepares the children clothes, and many more. Not just in their day to day home works, but even in raising their children. He (mostly) works to bring an income to the family while she keeps the home in order and clean, he disciplines the children (if necessary) and she explains to them translating into a wisdom with love, he leads the family in devotion while she leads the quiet time, and the list goes on.

 

B. Companionship.

     Raising a family requires lots of hardwork, energy, wisdom but of course lots of fun too. It is exhausting but fulfilling when we accomplished something like when we see our children graduating from their studies or received some honors in schools or excel in sports, arts and sciences. We both share the same sense of accomplishment and pride of our children. However, it is inevitable that we encounter failure at least once in our lifetime.  We fail to provide enough for the family needs which sometime breaks our heart seeing our children lacking even the basic needs. We fail to raise our children in becoming a better person. We fail to support our children morally and spiritually. Different situations, different failures, different struggles.

     Having both of the parents helping one another in this difficult times is direly needed. When you are emotionally drained, there your spouse to give you encouragements. When the provisions to families are not enough, the other is helping a way to augment for the family needs. When your child needs your attention or discipline, your partner can attend to in your behalf. When you are sick and tired, they becomes your comfort and strength. We need someone that we can share our burdens, our failures, our struggles. We need to have someone to fellowship with, more than a spouse, a friend, or a family. We need a FELLOW in our lost SHIP; to be our compass when we lost our direction, to be our eyes when we lost our vision, to be our captain when we lost our command, and to be our care when we are wounded. With all this mess, it is a big challenge is we are alone as Ecc 4:10 said "For if they fall, one will help his companion up, but pity the person who falls down and has no one to help him up."

 

C. Avoiding Sin through Love 

     Challenges in our marriage are so common and getting bigger and bigger as the world advances. The power of today's technologies exaggerate them more. The busy and demanding world and its lifestyle even contribute to its destruction. Be mindful and watchful of all these. We need to live with our promise to our spouse the very first day we swear with each other "for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, till death do us part", moreover, no man can separate what God has joined. Ecc 4:11 "Furthermore, if two lie down together, they can keep each other warm, but how can one person keep warm by himself?"

     Couples are designed by God to warm each other. Sexually, both has to enjoy what God has designed for them to express their love when they are together alone as a procreation rather than recreation. Mentally, both are torque to light up with wisdom when one is darkened by demands. Emotionally, both are energy reactors to boost up the enthusiasm inside and bring it into outside. Both are designed to complement each other; help one another; deeply love them, in love with them, loved by them, unconditionally. You, therefore, are not advised to fall out of love rather stick with it. Keep the fire burning and share the love with the whole family.

 

D. Family Protection

     Beware that the modern world where we are living now is very destructive to family's core values and integrity. Legalizing all sort of separations of couples, legalizing the self-permitted abortion, legalizing almost everything that family should value and give the utmost importance. That is simply because of human nature of selfishness thinking nothing else other than themselves. In this aspect that we, couples, have to be alert at all times. We have to protect the family that we are building with all our wisdom, strength, and love. We have to participate in providing the needs of the family, materially, emotionally, physically, morally, and spiritually.  We guard our family especially our children as they are our future generations.

     Ecc 4: 12 "Although an assailant may overpower one person, two can withstand him. Moreover, a three-stranded cord is not quickly broken." This verse reminds us, that at the very least, loving couples when you are together will be able to fight against these threats in our marriage and in family. However, we need more than that. We need an intercessor from our Creator, the one who designed what a family is. We need His Divine intervention in our family. It may seems to be an options, but for me, it's is a valuable promise. Keeping our family under the wings of our God will definitely keep us from destruction. These words says we are definitely going to encounter these threats but with the joined hands, you will overcome it. However, with God, our family will always be under His protection.

 

     Couples, lead your family and build a strong family values, impart and develop a selfless relationship to your children, and influence them with unconditional love. And as a must, embrace them with God's Loving Arms.

Unity of Union

(Read 1 Corinthians  12:20-27)

When it comes to the biggest challenge the whole world is currently facing, that should be its own unity. Each nation, indeed, has its own conflict with its neighboring countries. One good example is the North and South Korea where decades of conflicts are continuously suffered by two nations.  For whatever reason, it is a very long story. Well, it seems to be an ordinary day in our present times. Conflicts are arising everywhere! Arab nation vs. Jews nation, Administration Party vs. Opposition Party, Employee vs. Employer, Church vs. Church, Friend vs. Friend, Parents vs. Children, Husband vs. Wife, and even Self vs. Self.

We are not going to discuss how to achieve unity for the whole world as we cannot reach them all. Rather, we will simply start to whom we can stretch forth our arms to achieve it. The bible tells us and given us many instances of how unity is achieved and what it causes to our relationships with all the people around us. We will start with the basic unit of a community, the family. Indeed, we will start with people who started a family --- the Husband and the Wife.

The moment they get married, it's a contract of union between the two loving couple, vested with the authority to be ordained as husband and wife. If you are living together and not married, then you are not a legal husband and wife, rather you are called partners. In contrary with legal and moral matters, I will leave it to you as this is customary. Union of a husband and wife has lots of complications as the rule of laws of each nation. We want to simply refer to "the couple" as the legal husband (male) and wife (female) only for the sake of this blog.

When lady accepted the love of a man, from being boy/girl-friend relationship, to fiancee relationship, to husband-wife relationship, the union of two hearts are also being developed closer and closer until they become one. That is where their unity comes the moment the lady and the man finally say "Yes, I do" to each other in front of their wedding ceremony. At least, for the very first time the whole people around them witnessed their agreement to live together for the rest of their lives. Isn't it romantic?

Your union will bear the journey to strengthen, improve, develop and maintain your unity as family couple will immediately follow after you sign your marriage contract. There is no turning back. It is either you make it or you break it. There will be challenges to keep your union, those don't exempt the present marriage law where divorce is allowed, the vices available just right after the neighborhood, the work and career ambitions, your individual characters and many more. These are challenges to your marriage alone, how about your journey along within your marriage?

In 1 Cor 12:20-27, Paul encourage each member of the church to be united with others. And that each member have important part to play and contribute. In verses 20-21, So now there are many members, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I do not need you," nor in turn can the head say to the foot, "I do not need you." Like a body, every organ function according to what they are designed or called for. The eyes are meant to see, the ears are for hearing, the nose to smell and to breath, and many more. Each is responsible for every task that has assigned to it. Maybe some are visible and always recognize, some are working unknowingly from public but it doesn't mean that it has no importance at all. In the same way in a family, each member play a very important role. At the very start of marriage, the husband and wife shares these responsibilities between themselves and when they started to have kids, it is being delegated to them as well.

Weaknesses and strengths, both exists in each member of the family. For a couple, as the theory has proven that opposite attracts, each individual has the differences and uniqueness. But that is the very reason why we are compatible to one another despite of oppositions of our characters, our attitudes, our capabilities, and our failures. We compliment with each other, looking for what we cannot do or bear, filling up the emptiness in our lives. This is where the contrast results to a beautiful love story, after all these differences joined together and played. It is like notes in the music sheet, though are being played in different tunes, they produce a wonderful song. A song that is great which touches our emotions, our lives, and our spirit. This is simply because the unity of each notes despite of the differences in tunes gives the rhythm, melody, and music.

Arrogance vs. Acceptance. In marriage, it is very common that each is proud of what they have contributed to it and what they still can give. Sometimes, each of us have forgotten that they are talking to themselves alone as if our spouses are not our own body. We overemphasize ourselves in the family forgetting that we are part of it. We often keep on reminding our spouses that we are the head of the family, we are achieving heights in our career, we are smarter and having better decision making, and the list goes on. Mostly we don't just overemphasize it, moreover, we compare it to our less dominant spouses. You are not the head of this family, you are not doing great in your worthless job, you are always having failures in your decisions, you are just a mess and I DON'T NEED YOU! We are continuously telling these proudly things to win something else with our spouses and left nothing but degrading arrogance in their ear. Where is the Love between spouses' lips? Where is the acceptance that both has agreed from the first day of our marriage.

In verse 22 says "on the contrary, those members that seem to be weaker are essential." God has accepted us despite of continuous sinful acts of men, and so as to the couples, that we should keep on accepting each other's faults, indifferences, failures, and weaknesses. We all fall short to the glory of God and not worthy of His mercy, indeed. But God loves the church, therefore, He offered Jesus to redeem it. God wants every family to accept one another in unity. He is not asking us to be uniformed, he just want us to simply be united. Acceptance is the initial step. Accept that one is the head of the family, the other is the light of the family; the one gives the financial support, the other gives hands-on care and emotional support to the family; the one give great ideas in decision-making, the other one contributes to the decision for consideration; and so on and on. Acceptance is simply the key to avoid any conflicts to arise in the family, therefore start to destroy any arrogance to live continuously within your family. 

Individually vs. Family. As individual, we always wanted to compete with our peers or with the others. We hunger for superiority over the others even inside the family's house. Husband or Wife longs to be respected simply because they are superior. Corrections is often prohibited resulting to self destruction rather than reconstruction of what faults we knew. Because we are human and like the other creatures of the world, we need to survive. But God is calling for the unity to value each other no matter what we are capable of. God requires us, indeed, to share of our greater capacity to the lesser able member of a family. Example in general are: a husband's physical strength  can lend a hand to the wife in doing strenuous works requiring physical strength, a wife cooks a good meal for the family to enjoy to feed the hungers, kids (though they do not know) soothes the parents tiring day when they see their sweet  hugs and kisses, and many more. Our bigger self, therefore,  must fill-up the scarcities of the others in the same case.

As the passage in verses 23-24 says "and those members we consider less honorable we clothe with greater honor, and our unpresentable members are clothed with dignity, but our presentable members do not need this..." The right-handed man painter, though he mostly uses his right hand to create his masterpiece as it holds the paintbrush, there is always a left hand that holds the palette where he mixes his paint colours. The left hand job could be tiring, steady, still as it often moved which may suffer from stiff and unrecognized by the body itself. The right hand does the actual masterpiece like mixing of colours, applying the colours to the canvass, etc. But in the end, the praises and honours are received by master's hands regardless which side of the hands (either from left or right hand) did it as it comes from the same person. This what Paul exemplifies as verses 24-25 continue "... Instead, God has blended together the body, giving greater honor to the lesser member, so that there may be no division in the body, but the members may have mutual concern for one another."

The family is known to what the family member has contributed to one another. If the elder son graduated on his university study with flying colours, the parents are praised as well for nurturing the child growth and their influences to their child probably. If the husbands were promoted, the whole family are very glad and rejoicing though they are not the one promoted. Because whatever part of the body feel, the whole body will feel the same. In verse 26 tells us that "If one member suffers, everyone suffers with it. If a member is honoured, all rejoice with it." Therefore, desire to give honour to each other and to the whole family rather than to give them sufferings. Be united as the Lord has commanded us, for that also gives honour to Him, our Saviour, who redeem us to be part of His Body (the church) as He is the Head of the church (the body).

God bless everyone!!!